Not Now

Not now;
I have sunk too deep already
into the pity of my self.
I have opened that hole one more time
and jumped, mouth first.
I have finally perfected the art of falling,
listening to the chatter of grass,
and the deep thud of your stare.

Not now,
I have buried too many stories
beneath my speak,
I have told the same tale
many times under,
and heard in your hoarseness
the same song sung.

Not now.
I have walked to the edge already,
seen the line crumble
and the end blur.
Not now…

I have told you before
of my suitors
but the visited are never cured.
I have already dragged you with me–
if only the damned had a plea in heaven…

7 comments

  1. Unknown's avatar
    Scheherazade

    This moves me to tears. And tears at the stitches of some painful memories I thought had healed.I’m embarassed that I identify with it so much. It’s almost anthemic–is that a word?“and hear in your hoarseness the same song sung.”This line I will commit to memory.You’ve carried me to a dark place. And I hate being here, I must confess. Nevertheless, Bravo Asram (forgive the misspelling).Now I need light…However, I do wish I could hear you read this aloud. I hope your reading goes well.Yasmin

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  2. Unknown's avatar
    arch.memory

    Yasmin,Sorry to have taken you back to that dark place. You shouldn’t be embarassed that you identify with it, though; otherwise, I should be, too, no?And thank you so much for your heartfelt comment; I am very touched that it moved you so. I will be reading this on Sunday for you, and maybe I’ll be able to record it, too.All my very best,Ashraf

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